Memoirs of a Damned (20)
The composer years (13)
Returning to the viewpoint. Recapitulando: diez años de música (Recapitulating: ten years of music)
Ten years after MIRADORES, I looked back. It's not a revival album, but rather a collection of previously unreleased tracks with compilation titles and compressed versions of my published albums.
The orchestral system makes a comeback, with a less prominent piano.
The cover art is a faithful reflection of an entire career waiting for its release.
Production ran smoothly, given the limitations of an independent artist. And distribution fell into the increasingly ambiguous hands of CD Baby and its profiteering satellites. Considering making a living from this was suicidal. Not even enough to buy a bag of chips.
On a personal level, the atmosphere was dense and tense due to the reproaches, spite, indifference, and cruelty of my siblings in the face of the dire situation I was experiencing caring for my mother. I was forced to hire staff who were not always specialized, some of whom were undoubtedly morally inferior. In the midst of grief and helplessness, Ruth appeared, bringing a respite to my battered mental state, close to the brink of madness or suicide. I had never wanted so much to die and be freed from such a heavy and unjust burden.
My biography will provide more precise details of this pathetic situation. In short, I had to put it in the hands of the judges.
As I've already mentioned, I don't even know where I found the energy to compose in such a pitiful state.
After ten years dedicated to composition, I remained, for recognition purposes, in 2003.
I think it was in 2013 when I returned to Recife and met Lúcio, the cavaquinho instructor. There's a funny anecdote about this. I showed up at the class with a Portuguese cavaquinho tuned like a Brazilian one, and of dubious quality as well.
Possibly around that time, I also began acupuncture therapy with a German man living in Denia, Alicante, whose results remain inexplicable to this day. Did the acupuncture manage to halt the degenerative progression? I don't know.
It was also this year that I once again insisted on offering concerts, but the curse
still had its foot on my fate, and the conditions, nor the alignment of the planets, weren't right.